GRAHAM, TX– On Tuesday night, three men in Graham, TX, decided to join millions of other Americans and watch President Trump’s State of the Union. Prior to tuning in for the almost 2-hour long speech, the three pals laid some ground rules for a drinking game. Every time Trump said the word, “immigrant” they would take one shot of vodka. If the President would used the word, “incredible”, they would finish their beers and if Trump mentioned our country’s “Veterans”, a bong hit of marijuana would immediately follow.
The drinks started flowing within the first 3 minutes of the address with Trump saying, “incredible”, once while boasting about progress made in the last year. The trio chugged their recently opened cans of Milwaukee’s Best then listened carefully for the next buzz word. About 15 minutes went by before the game really started to pick up. Trump introduced 12-year-old Preston Sharp as one of his guests and described how the young patriot started placing flags on the unmarked graves of our fallen heroes on Veteran’s Day. Over the next 18 minutes the three game contestants found themselves taking 7 bong hits of marijuana, fresh from across the border.There was an 8 minute break before more buzz words were said. The President introduced four pillars of the administrations plan for immigration reform. It was then that “immigrants” began to pour out of Trump’s mouth. The rules of the game also allowed for “immigration”. Over the next 14 minutes, the three amigos found themselves downing 11 shots of Bankers Club vodka, and that of course, is when things went bad.
Graham Police Chief, Troy Wyler, stated that police were dispatched to the residence around 11:00pm for a noise complaint which resulted in one of the men being tased and arrested for attempting to assault the officer. “Drinking games can be dangerous no matter how you play them, but gambling with a speech by President Trump can be outright life threatening”, Wyler said. He added, “Good thing our town is 74% Caucasian, cause had that boy been a black, he’d been shot”. The suspect was taken into custody while the other two participants remained on the floor of their apartment.
So next year if you too plan to play a drinking game while watching president Trump’s state of the Union, play it safe and choose a word such as “peace”. After all, peace wasn’t mentioned once during the 2018 State of the Union.